Some of the choices we make in life can be easy or hard. Our decisions can affect the life we want and the life of others. Do you want to change your life? How to change your life begins with your thoughts and choices. Change your thoughts to change your life. Choose to help and not to hurt. The choice is yours. Every choice we make in life is leading us to be who we choose to be.
Passing the blame.
Other people are not living your life, so don’t let them make your choices for you. You can’t blame other people for the choices you make in life. I’m not saying that other people don’t affect our lives. What I’m saying is that you have the choice of who is in your life and how you react to what others do to us. My son has blamed his teachers for his bad grades, but he made the choice not to ask for help and not do the work. That is a simple example, but hopefully a clear message.
Our choices have consequences. As a mother, I make choices every day for my children since they do not have the knowledge yet. Even though my ex husband and I had problems I chose not to exclude him from their lives. He did that on his own by choosing to not be around. His mother also chose not to stay in their lives, so to this day my children don’t know one of their grandparents. Our choices affect other people, and we can’t pass the blame.
The last time I had met my half-brother I was too young to remember. We tried to find him when our father was sick and he passed away, but we couldn’t because his mother chose to keep him away from our father. All those years not knowing my brother because his mother chose to tell him his father hated him. It was when she passed away that he found the letters my dad had written him expressing how much he missed him and loved him. That is when he reached out to find us. His mother was probably just doing what she knew at the time.
Our choices affect other people, and their choices can affect us as well. It is up to you to decide to make the decision to help or to hurt. It is up to you to allow the choices of others to affect you. My parents weren’t perfect, and there is a lot I could probably blame them for. Does it help anyone if I choose to hold onto any blame? No. They were only working with the knowledge they had. I don’t blame my ex husband for things that he did to me. I chose to marry him because I was working with the knowledge I had at the time, but then I chose to increase my knowledge and change my thoughts. That changed my life! He chose to hurt, which affected my children and I, so I made the choice to not allow him to hurt us anymore.
Let Go of Anger and Blame
Do you hold a grudge? Do you hate someone that has hurt you? Why? Does your anger or hate affect the other person or people? For every minute wasted on anger you lose sixty seconds of happiness. I could hate my ex husband for what he did to me, but I choose not to waste my time. It doesn’t help me or anyone else to hold onto anger and blame. Happiness is a choice. Now I let it go and change my thinking to change my life to be happy. I also learned how to change my thoughts so I can make a better choice in how I allow other people to affect me. You can too.
You can’t blame yourself all the time either. We are all just working with the knowledge we have at the time. I don’t blame myself for some of the choices I have made in life. There is no point in blaming myself. Instead I choose to look at it as a learning experience to lead me to the person I want to be. You can’t keep blaming yourself or others because it will only hold you back.
Coulda, woulda, shoulda?
I could do this, but I choose to do that. You would have done that, but you chose to do this. We should do this, but we choose to do that. The choice is yours. Your life is your own. Did you ever read one of those books in school that gave you choices that lead to a different ending? I honestly loved those books! They kept me intrigued to find out what outcome my choices would lead to, and you could always go back and change your choice.
In life we cannot go back and change our choices sometimes. We have to face our consequences or outcomes. What we can do is learn from our choices and outcomes. How do your choices lead you to the outcome you want in your life? Choose to help and not hurt. Make the decision to be a good person and you don’t have to worry about looking back at a bad choice that lead you to a bad outcome.
Who do you want to be?
The choice is yours. If you make a decision in life for the wrong reason it will most likely lead to a bad outcome. You can decide if it stays with you the rest of your life, or you can choose to use the experience to change to be a person you want to be. It is not your fault if someone hurts you, but it is your choice to allow it to happen again. Learn from it to be a person you are happy with.
We’ve all read the stories about the child with abusive parents that becomes abusive to themselves or their children, or they become an advocate for abused children. The poor and starving child that becomes a multi – millionaire. The gang member that becomes a motivational speaker. It always becomes a choice of who you want to be.
Be the change you want to see in the world.
We all have a choice of who we want to be and how we allow others to affects us. The choice is yours. Those choices can have ripple affects on the people in our lives. We can wallow in our pain, blame others, or hold onto hate. Is that who you want to be? Do those choices lead to the outcome you want?
You could also make the decision to be the better person. Do the right thing. Choose happiness. Don’t let the choices of others hold you back from being the person you want to be. Also, don’t let your own choices from your past hold you back from living the life you want. Learn from the mistakes of others and the mistakes you might have made. We can’t go back and change the past, but we can learn to change our future. Live, laugh, and love your life! I would love to hear your thoughts. Please leave a question or comment below.