Do you need a change for a better life? I met a mom the other day that talked about wanting to make changes in her life to be a better person, and I love hearing that! She talked on and on about how she knew the way she was living her life wasn’t doing her or her children any good and how she needed to change. Unfortunately, the actions do not match the words coming out of her mouth when I talked to her again. Was she afraid of change? This may be a problem for many people, even I have this problem sometimes. Constantly I remind myself of taking action if I find myself wanting something to change. When you are not willing to make any changes in your actions then your words don’t mean much at all. What is the saying? “Actions speak louder than words.” It is your decision to start the process of change, to overcome any fears, and to take action to be the person you talk about.
Do you take action in life?
Are you just standing still? Many of the events of my past and how I have helped myself has motivated me to want to help others. When I was lost and looking for help I reached out, but I also followed through on what I was reading and hearing because I had a drive to change. My situation was not helping me or my children, and that began my process for change in my life. The fear I had of the unknown had held me back, but nothing was going to get better until I decided to start taking action. Not everything that I tried worked for me, but I still tried it because I truly wanted to help myself. You have to keep trying even if you fail the first time or the 10th time. Sometimes I had to step back and change the way I looked for the action to make. Do you hear people just talking about changing themselves as they drink the alcohol they want to quit or call the person they want to get away from? Have you found yourself wanting something better but it never seems to happen? Perhaps they are comfortable with just getting by in life because they fear failure or the unknown if they change. You should ask yourself a few questions to hopefully help you decide if you want to change your life.
Do you just fear change?
It took me time to get past my fears of the unknown and change myself, but I finally realized that the unknown can only be better than the situation I was in. Fear can be very debilitating if you let it. My own fears kept me in an abusive relationship longer than I should have been. How will I get money for my kids and I? Where will we live if we leave? How can I afford a lawyer? Only a few of my fear questions that ran through my head. These questions led me to not doing anything but enduring because I felt hopeless and discouraged. Finally, when my husband decided to cut us off from any money to pay rent or buy food I couldn’t endure anymore. I knew my children and I deserved a better life! This led to me asking the questions I needed to help move forward, face my fears, and make the changes for a better life.
- How do I picture the life I want?
- What do I WANT to change?
- How do I change my life?
- What am I afraid of?
I had to let my fear go.
Not all of us are faced with a situation where the only option you have is to change. Many people are probably just not happy in their life. Hopefully it won’t be too late when you decide to make a change for a better life. When you hear yourself telling others how much you want to change, whether it’s losing weight or fixing your marriage, with hope there will be a red flag going off in your head that says maybe it is time for more actions than words. Fear only has power if you let it. Why am I afraid to change? Let the fear go! What is stopping you from living the life you want? Don’t fear judgment, or failure, or the unknown. Seek positive changes, seek people that can help, and let your fears go. Ask the questions that help you change instead of the ones that hold you back.
Don’t be afraid to reach out for help.
There is always an option. I read one thing when I was looking for help that really has stuck with me…” Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change.” When you are not happy in your life then change it. Sometimes if your first try doesn’t work then you might need a different approach. Look at your problem differently, look at it positively, or what is the outcome you want. Ask for help. For example, some diets that many people rave about don’t work for you, so you may get discouraged to try again. Don’t give up if you do not succeed the first time you try. That diet is not the only option out there. There is probably someone out there that has faced a similar problem and can give you the information you need. Sometimes if you start with small steps then the big change may not be as scary. Those small steps may also give you the motivation you need to keep going! Any action you take is still a movement forward.
Even the small steps are a step forward.
When I needed to change my situation I felt discouraged, so I tried to start with changing myself. I read some books that really helped me. I looked online for information. When the diets I read about weren’t working, I actually came up with my own diet and exercise plan from the information learned from the ones that didn’t work. I was so excited when I lost 60 lbs in 2 weeks! Just the motivational boost needed to keep going. When I reached out for help through a therapist, she actually told me that she couldn’t help me with my situation because it was beyond the area she worked in. Wow was I discouraged! But, I went back one more time and she was able to suggest another place for me to reach out to. I was scared to contact them at first because it was a women’s center. My fear of judgement stopped me…would they really believe me? No one in my family really believed me. I asked myself if talking to them would hurt anything. What did I have to lose besides not getting any help to change my life. Turns out I was an abused woman, and when I admitted that realization to myself it let my fear go. I was also not the only one that has been in a similar situation.
I was not alone!
There were many other women at the women’s center who were going through worse or similar situations. They had the information and help I needed. Contacting the women’s center was such a blessing from God! They helped me find a place to live for my children and I, they found me a free lawyer, and they helped me decide to go back to school. The counseling they offered got me back to the person I could smile at in the mirror. They even helped my son with some counseling. My small steps forward led me to the leaps I needed to change my life for the better.
So what is your fear of change?
Without the changes in myself and my life I finally chose to make I probably would not have found love again. Today I am happily married to the man of my dreams! Finally I was able to smile at myself in the mirror. Letting go of my fears helped me be happy with myself again. I just had to take action, keep going, and not fear change. The fear of change keeps us standing still instead of moving forward in life. What is keeping you from a better life? What are your fears that you need to let go of? Positive changes lead to happiness, being happy with yourself, and a better life. Change starts with action, even small steps are an action moving you forward. Live, laugh, and love your life!
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Here is a link to one of the books I read that helped me: The Woman Men Adore